


Trapped in This Eternal Night

by DarkHeartInTheSky



Series: Random Drabbles/Requests [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 10.22 coda, 10.23 Speculation, Domestic Violence, Gen, Guilty Dean, Hallucinations, Hurt Dean Winchester, Mark of Cain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-30 23:38:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3956233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkHeartInTheSky/pseuds/DarkHeartInTheSky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This makes you like Dad." The reflection clicks his teeth. "No, you're worse than Dad. Dad never hit Mom.</p><p>10.22 Codax10.23 Speculation. This season finale is gonna kill me guys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trapped in This Eternal Night

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Technically a companion to "Long Way Till Morning" all though it's not necessary to read that first. A 10.22 Coda, 10.23 speculation.

There's still blood underneath his fingernails, even though he's been scrubbing for hours. His knuckles are red and swollen and over the running water and the pumping of blood in his ears, he can still hear the crack of bones breaking underneath those knuckles.

Dean splashes water on his face and when he looks up into the mirror, it's not his reflection he sees, but Cas's. Cas, bathed in blood, with broken bones that jut out all odd, painful angles. It flashes for a second and then it's gone, leaving behind his reflection—except…

It has black eyes and a wicked grin.

"It felt so good, didn't it?" the reflection asks, tilting his head. "Beating Angelface black and blue, hearing him begging you to stop."

"Shut up," Dean says through clenched teeth.

"You know what's even better though. Angelface may be all juiced up but he still can't flap away anymore. And we didn't exactly leave him in any condition to brush himself up and walk away. You know what that means."

The reflection steps outside the mirror and stands in front of Dean. Its breath reeks of sulfur.

"That means Sam's going to find him. He's going to find Cas beaten like a dog, and the bodies and the kid. He's going to finally realize what we're capable of, see what Hell did to us." The reflection touches Dean's shoulder. It burns, but he can't pull away.

Dean's eyes flash back to the mirror and Cas is back, only this time he's beaten worse. Bruises and blood take up more surface area than skin and hair.

"This makes you like Dad." The reflection clicks his teeth. "No, you're worse than Dad. Dad _never_ hit Mom."

"It's not like Cas hasn't ever beaten the living shit out of me before." It's a weak argument.

"Has he? The crypt thing, well, we all know that wasn't Cas. Sure, it was Angelface's face and his fists, but he was just a puppet then, being controlled by that bitch angel, remember? And I guess there was that scuffle in the alleyway before the big ole showdown, but really, you know you deserved that. You were going to say yes to Michael, after Cas gave up everything—gave up Heaven and all his dick angel friends-so you could continue to say no.

"So, okay. Cas beat the shit out of you once, years ago, when you deserved it. But what did he do to deserve what you did to him? He talked to you. He touched you and you broke his arm. And his ribs. And his face. He didn't even try to fight back. He let us beat him like that, so he wouldn't hurt us. Precious, ain't it? And it would've been so easy to bury that blade in his gut and walk away."

"No," Dean moans. His hands are shaking and he can't stop.

"Maybe you did."

"I didn't," Dean says in a pained breath. He clamps his eyes shut. "I stopped."

"Did you? Where's Angelface's blade then? You don't have it because you left it in his heart."

"I didn't kill Cas."

"But you wanted to."

"I didn't _want_ to."

It was like he had to. If he didn't kill Cas, he would go mad. And Dean knows how close he was to killing his only friend in the world. He closes his eyes and he sees the fear in Cas's.

Cas thought Dean was going to kill him.

_Next time I won't miss!_

Cas thought Dean would still kill him.

He can still feel the sting of his dad's fists against his cheek, still hears his mother and father's fights from underneath his covers.

"I'm not like Dad," he says.

"We've already established that. You're worse. Cas is never gonna let you touch him again. That might make the whole whatever you two have even more complicated, won't it?

"Or maybe," the reflections says in a high pitched whine, "maybe Cas will let you touch him again. Maybe he'll forgive you, find a way to turn the blame onto himself, you know Cas. He's a real Winchester at heart. Maybe he'll let you explore him in all the ways you want and forget the whole thing ever happened. But you'll still know what you're capable of doing to him. And you'll know he won't fight back, won't defend himself, because he doesn't want to hurt you.

"Which future is worse, Dean?"

"Shut up!" Dean shouts and punches the reflection, but it vanishes like smoke and his fist collides with the mirror, and he still sees Cas inside the mirror and Dean's hit him _again._ The mirror shatters and his fist comes away bloody—his blood this time-and he falls to the floor beside the bathtub and he doesn't even try to stop the tears that come.


End file.
